Wherever the Road Leads

Words Fail Me

What do you put in a toaster?

In the early 1950’s, in a town of immigrants where all your friends were McIntosh, MacNamara, O’Mara, Cybulski, Schledowiscz or Jastrebski and at a time when separate freezer compartments in a refrigerator were something new, no one stopped to think that in reality the term, “unthaw the hamburger meat” was the opposite of what you were doing. Coming out of the freezer, the hamburger meat was ‘thawing’, not ‘unthawing’. I was in my thirties before  someone pointed out that I was saying it incorrectly.

Although it has never failed me, the hot water heater in the trailer is inconsistent when trying to light. It runs on propane but lights electronically. Sometimes it fires up after six seconds, sometimes it takes a couple of minutes. I have cleaned it out completely and last week I replaced the ignitor but little has changed, time-wise.


I went to one of the online RV forums where they talk about everything. Guaranteed that you are the four thousandth person who has encountered any problem that is new-to-you. I found many questions and answers on and about hot water heaters. I also found a revelation.

Someone pointed out that the appliance is not a “Hot Water Heater”. Hot water is already hot, it doesn’t need to be heated. You don’t put toast in a toaster, you put in bread. Likewise, it’s cold water that goes into a  hot water heater, not hot. Therefor the appliance is simply a “Water Heater”.

I think I’m too old to re-learn that expression.

Here’s the entire ‘Dementia Test’, where I got the ‘toaster’ question from. The comments came with the test, they are not mine. Try not to hurt yourself.


1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: ‘bread.’ If you said ‘toast,’ give up now and do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.


2. Say ‘silk’ five times. Now spell ‘silk.’ What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said ‘milk,’ don’t attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said ‘water’, proceed to question 3.


3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said ‘green bricks,’ why are you still reading these???
If you said ‘glass,’ go on to Question 4.


4. It is 10 years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. During the flight, the two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of Berlin. Where would you bury the survivors?

Answer: You don’t bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you’re a dunce and you must stop. If you said, ‘You don’t bury survivors’, proceed to the next question.


5. Without using a calculator – You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales . In London , 17 people get on the bus. In Reading , six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , three people get off and five people get on In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don’t you remember your own name? It was YOU!!


I think the only thing this test proved to me was that I’m old.


I’m going for a nap, now.

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  1. Rebecca  September 18, 2014

    I answered all of them correctly WITHOUT peeking.
    ‘Nuff said.

  2. elayne  September 19, 2014

    me too Rebecca but I must confess, I have seen similar tests before. et


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