Wherever the Road Leads

Wiarton Hot Sauce

Random Musings While Trapped Inside

This is not an Official Rant. It’s winter, and winter was not part of the equation when I came up with my Hare-Brained Scheme. I’m supposed to be here only during the summer months, but the opportunity arose to help out my mother, so here I am, knee-deep in the snowbank… or was it hoopla?

I got encouraged last week as the temperatures had been steadily above freezing. The snowbanks were melting and getting smaller. Feeling bold, I checked the long-range forecast. Big mistake. Summer has been canceled.

Wiarton Willy

Canada has its own “Groundhog Day”. It takes place in the small town of Wiarton Ontario. The groundhog is named “Wiarton Willy”. Willy, much like “Punxsutawney Phil” in the US, if he sees his shadow and returns to his hole, he has predicted six more weeks of winter-like weather. However, if Wiarton Willy sees his shadow, it means Canada is in for another six months of winter. He must have seen his shadow. Last week, it was 34 degrees. Today, it’s 3.4 degrees.

NOT keeping me warm, is Canadian Louisiana Hot Sauce. Still in ‘sticker shock’ at the grocery store, I bought the cheapest bottle of Hot Sauce I could find. It was called “Cool Runnings”, I assume named after the movie about the Jamaican Bobsled Team who entered the Winter Olympics when it was held in Calgary in 1988. It was ‘cool’, alright. I downed that bottle in no time. Louisiana Hot Sauce goes on my every meal. On eggs at breakfast, lunchtime sandwich and evening meal with pasta and hot sausage or Shake-n-Bake chicken.

Obviously Hot Sauce is not something you can scrimp on here in Canada by buying off-brand products, so I bought a bucket of Frank’s Hot Sauce, investing well over $6.00. I was starting to think that only Poofters used Hot Sauce here in Canada. The bucket might have lasted a week. My next attempt was Frank’s Extry Hot Hot Sauce. Right. Maybe for Canadian Poofters with less-limp wrists.

Buffalo-Wing-325x527My favorite Hot Sauce is Moore’s Buffalo Wild Wing Sauce. Moore’s, founded in… are you ready for it…. trumpet fanfare please… drum roll and Roll Tide….. the great state of… ALABAMA… forty years ago. Now when you have a meal with Moore’s Hot Sauce, you best have a towel on one side of you and a near-full box of Kleenex on the other side of you because you are going to sweat like you’re in a sauna and your sinuses will be clear for weeks. Talk about SMOOTH. This stuff is fantastic.

Moore’s is great for dieting. You’ll lose weight after a meal seasoned with Moore’s Buffalo Wild Wing Sauce. There’s no sense in wolfing down some high-calorie dessert because you cain’t taste it. Moore’s Marinades and Sauces, Birmingham Alabama. Click here. Yeah, buddy.

So until I can get back South to buy some Moore’s, I bought another bucket of Frank’s.

What I’m afraid of, though, is that the Moore’s won’t taste any different because it’s not the Hot Sauce, it’s my taste buds that are burned out.

Canada was closed for three hours last Friday, between noon and 3:00pm Eastern, (9:00am and noon in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, where Calgary gets its NBC feed). The country stopped to watch the Canada/US hockey game at the Socchi Olympics.


Canadians are passionate about hockey. Passionate Canadian hockey fans are passionate about beating the US hockey team. I quit following hockey decades ago after giving up on supporting the Toronto Maple Leafs when it became obvious that they were a corporation that cared about making money, not a sports team that cared about winning.

I followed the Buffalo Sabres hockey team for a while. Back then, they put a great team on the ice who choked in the playoffs. The last professional team game that I went to was the Atlanta Thrashers, just before they moved to Winnipeg. They moved because the city of Atlanta, population 5.4 million people, would not come out to watch a hockey game but in Winnipeg, population 714,000, they will.

That’s the crux of the matter. The vast majority of Americans couldn’t tell the difference between hockey and curling.

I read a Blog written by a lady in Calgary, “The View From Hats and Heels”. Click here. I read her posts regularly, she writes well and is interesting. Many of her posts I have to research because she writes of things that are exclusive to Canada, like personnel in the Canadian broadcast and print media, or her feelings about Canadian Native Indians.

The other day, she agreed with a Calgary columnist who was aghast because apparently NBC did not broadcast the hockey game between Canada and the US (9:00am start time), instead choosing to stick with its regular programing of Kathie Lee and the Egyptian lady. Sacrilege, they claimed. Particularly telling of Canada’s passion for hockey is that the Calgary columnist quoted is a woman. (The article is here – click – but be aware she takes the opportunity to bash much more in the US than just a lack of interest in hockey.)

The border between Canada and the US has been described as a 3,000-mile long two-way mirror. Canadians constantly peer through the glass to see what the US is doing and if they are paying any attention to Canada. Americans look in the mirror to see themselves.

Canada won the hockey game. They beat the American team 1 – 0. There was much celebrating in Canada and chests swelled with pride. Take that, America! We beat you!!

Unaware of the battle’s magnitude, Americans went to work or watched Kathie Lee.

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