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Ste. Deborah’s Slipping Halo

Root Cause-ing my Man’s Cold

It has been three weeks since my Southern visitor left. I had considered myself lucky as I did not take sick until after she left and I recently wrote a piece about how it had been her sympathy that had made me feel better. See here.

I’m afraid that it was only a brief respite from the agony of my Man’s Cold, though. Soon after I fell back into its clutches and only now has my coughing subsided and I feel normal again.

The timing of my Man’s Cold seemed odd, as I had managed to survive my first winter in years, and the worst winter that Canada has had in decades. Not even the sniffles did I have as I trudged through knee-deep snowbanks in Arctic temperatures to buy a $1.50 stamp to mail a letter to the United States as it was cheaper to be cold than burn $5.00 per gallon gas. Yet here it is, the grass is green and so am I.

compare

I survive the Arctic blizzard but turn green with the grass!

I had assumed that I contracted my near-deadly illness by being under-dressed for the rainy and windy day when we ventured to downtown Toronto and the CN Tower’s close proximity to Lake Ontario. However, I got it from the horse’s mouth – or should I say ‘Saint’s’ – that near-deadly illnesses cannot begin that way.

So, I began to “Root Cause” my Man’s Cold.

Fact 1: I felt perfectly fine before my Southern visitor arrived.

Fact 2: When she left, I was soon on death’s doorstep.

Fact 3: It was not the CN Tower’s wind and rain.

Obvious Conclusion 1: My Man’s Cold was caught from Georgia Southern Belle germs smuggled into Canada on Delta flight 6402 from Atlanta.

arrivals

Undercover surveillance photo of the Southern Belle in question arriving at Toronto’s International Arrivals Concourse.

So it appears that the Southern Belle who I credited as the cure, was actually the Southern Belle who was the cause.

This makes perfect sense, as I know that every time I am around her I feel smitten with something.

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Comments

  1. elayne  May 18, 2014

    cute . I especially like the last line as I am sure Deborah will as well. good job Gordon.

    reply

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