Wherever the Road Leads

Programming Your VCR

Step 1: Find a teenager

I’m not smart enough to do any of this. It’s all smoke and mirrors. I’m opinionated, maybe know a few more words than the average immigrant and perhaps could sit down and carry on a conversation.

I’ve figured out how to use two or three fingers and a keyboard to make words appear on a screen. I’ve lost most of what grey hair I had left in building a website that with blind luck and abject frustration, looks pretty decent on a computer and should now be better-configured for iPads. But in truth, I’m as lost as last year’s Easter Egg.

I can’t do this either. It’s a QR code that if you scan it with the Barcode App in your smartphone or iPad, will bring you to this site. Try it. I just did. It takes a second or two, but it works.


Notice the cat in the middle? You’ll not find one like that on your box of Post Toasties at the grocery store. This was all created in Adobe Photoshop CC. It took me hours and pert near killt me. I learned how to do it from a teenager on a Youtube video. The teenager’s video was 6:13 long. For the teenager, that means six minutes and thirteen seconds. For me, it’s more like six hours and thirteen minutes. Plus even more hair lost.

I am perfectly fine being the age that I am. I’m not wishing for do-overs, though, like all of us, there are certainly things that I would do a whole lot differently. I don’t wish to be a younger age, unless, of course, Monica Bellucci (49) or Sophie Marceau (47) made it a condition of marriage. And they are the only two women on God’s green earth I’d consider it for.


A couple of years ago I paid $1200 and used three days vacation to take a course in Adobe Dreamweaver. I loved being in school, perhaps the first time ever. So if I ever had the opportunity to turn back the clock, instead of barely-scraping-by grades every year, I’d be the first one in school and the last to leave. I’d fail my Photoshop exam on purpose just so I could take the course again.

Learning, like youth, is wasted on the young.

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