Wherever the Road Leads

My Baby is Back!

Four weeks ago, some dipstick was driving my truck, stone-cold sober mind you, and forgot that he had parked in a spot right beside a pedestrian walkway complete with 4′ high parking stanchions to protect UGA students from drivers such as this one. This Maroon was attending a Jazz Concert put on at the University of Georgia and when it was over, returning to the truck in the dark, this guy who – unbelievably –  passed Driver’s Ed with flying colors many years earlier and hadn’t had a wreck since his twenties – completely forgot that those parking stanchions were there.

Thinking I was turning into empty space, I cranked the wheel too hard too soon and dragged the side of the truck against the parking stanchion. Ouch!

The Appraiser came from the Insurance company the next day. $2,200 damage. Ooops!

$1,000 deductible. What th….

Only the fact that she was a female woman AND an Alabama fan kept me from giving her a lesson on how to curse like an irate Scotsman in the British Navy. She estimated a four-day repair and into the shop it went.

Fortunately I haven’t been thumbing rides and taking public transit… if we even HAVE public transit out here in the boondocks. I was provided a Chrysler 200 to drive, quite a nice little roller skate by comparison.


It’s been really easy to park but it doesn’t take long to be reminded that the headlights of the car behind you end up in your rear-view mirror. It’s not as easy to intimidate someone when you tailgate in a little car, but it’s a whole lot easier to reach the buttons at the bank’s drive-thru ATM.

I was getting rather used to it while I wondered why it would take a Ford Dealer’s Collision Shop over two week’s to fix a $2,200 dent. The Dealer called late today, though, and I swapped out the 200 for the F150.

The truck was all shined up and purdy-lookin’, it was great to see it again. Lifting my rear end into the driver’s seat of the truck, as opposed to falling into the driver’s seat of the roller skate, was the first noticeable difference. I got strapped in behind the wheel and Good Lord!!… this thing is a behemoth. I felt like I was steering a 767 with a nose cone out in front of me and a long drop to the ground.

But it didn’t take long to get re-acclimated and afore long I felt like driving home and pulling on a pair of cowboy boots to help me harmonize with the sangin’ and the twangin’ of the country music station.

During the truck’s absence I acquired a new cell phone. My contract with Verizon was near up and I had been noticing friends surf a whole lot faster over 4G than I was able to with my 3G ‘Droid X. Verizon was offering a deal on a 4G, LG Lucid2 phone – free gratis – with a two-year re-up. So I called and sold my soul to Verizon for the next two years to get a $249 phone for free.

Now, this free phone needed to be paired – Blue-toothed – to the truck, which has a feature called “Sync”. The “Sync” feature directs incoming calls through the truck’s speakers instead of the phone, and there are microphones in the rear-view mirror which go back through the phone when you reply.

Sync also plays tunes that are on the phone through the truck’s stereo. Setting up the telephone part is an inconvenience that must be gone through in order to get the tunes on my phone to play through the stereo.

When I bought this truck, I had a maximum price in mind. There were a lot of real pretty trucks on that dealer’s lot… all shiny with fancy grills and chrome galore. They were gorgeous. But I have long contended that car companies sell the wrong look… it’s the inside that you spend all your time looking at, not the outside. So this truck has a really basic exterior because I wanted to invest some money on the interior.

I spent my money wisely. I replaced the four factory door speakers with Alpine 6 x 9’s, and installed a Soundstream Rubicon 5.800, a five-channel, 800 watt amplifier powering the door speakers and a Memphis 10″ sub-woofer under the back bench seat. Okay, so the floor mats are only worth $20, this thing will make your ears bleed and rattle your fillings loose.

And sitting in the garage after getting the phone connected, I simply had to try out my latest favorite song whose Youtube link is below. DAMN, it’s loud. I blame my hard-of-hearing on too many smoky, rock-n-roll bars when I was younger. I’m kinda wondering if it could have anything to do with this truck.

Welcome home, Baby!

…and Roll Tide.

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