Wherever the Road Leads

Les Mots Canadien

Je ne suis pas très heureux aujourd’hui . J’ai eu un autre argument avec le Canada . Le système bancaire .

Pour importer mon camion , je dois payer une Agence fédérale de $ 195 plus 13 % de taxe de faire de la paperasse. En l’absence d’antécédents de crédit , je n’ai pas de carte de crédit canadienne , mais j’ai un compte bancaire canadien et une carte de débit au Canada.

Je suis allé à l’ordinateur sur le site Web de RIV.ca ( Registraire des véhicules importés ) et essayé de payer avec ma carte de débit . RIV.ca moi liée à Scotiabank.ca , à payer. Cependant , on ne peut pas ajouter n’importe quel bénéficiaire , on ne peut choisir parmi une liste de ceux qui sont déjà dans le système . RIV n’est pas dans le système . J’ai appelé scotiabank.ca de l’aide . Ils m’ont dit : «Désolé, Charlie» .

Je peux envoyer un chèque et attendre dix jours ou je peux conduire partout à Toronto pour utiliser le point de lecteur de vente au RIV . Ridicule . Chaque compte bancaire américain que j’ai jamais eu , vous pouvez ajouter tous ceux que vous aimez comme bénéficiaire , puis envoyer un chèque . C’est ma deuxième difficulté bancaire cette semaine . J’avais besoin d’une forme notariée . Toute la Banque interaméricaine offre ce service à ses clients , gratuitement , c’est que vous êtes vieux . À la Banque Scotia ici , la première femme n’avait aucune idée de ce que je parlais. Le deuxième m’a dit: « Non, nous n’avons pas de notaire dans la banque . Je vous suggère d’aller à une édifice du gouvernement , où ils auront un .” À 5,00 $ le gallon pour le gaz .

Je racontai mon histoire à un de mes cousins ​​. Peut-être comme une blague , dit-il , «yankee rentrer chez vous ». A ce point , je suis prêt .

Je ne vais pas poster le récit de mes luttes continues avec ce pays . Au lieu de cela , je vais poster quelque chose avec humour , m’a été envoyé par le même cousin.


Okay, if you didn’t understand the above Canadian story, maybe this one will make more sense…

“I’m going to collect the loonies and toonies out of my knapsack and head to the Beer Store for a two-four. On my way back, I’ll pick us up a double-double and some Timbits, then we can have that back bacon for breakfast. If you spill your Tim’s because I’m driving 20 clicks over the speed limit, I’ll give you a serviette to use in the washroom. And don’t worry—I’ve got a mickey of vodka to put in our Caesars. Save me a seat on the chesterfield, eh?”

Virtually every Canadian will understand that with no difficulty at all. Whoever thinks that Canada and the United States are identical, has never lived in both. Here’s the translation, with the history for the words.

Loonies and Toonies

About twenty-five years ago, the Canadian Mint caved to the transit companies who were complaining, once their fares hit $1.00, that the folding money that was being stuffed into their fare boxes was too costly to retrieve, flatten, count and bundle by hand. With the proclamation that the taxpayer would save $19 million, the Canadian Mint phased out the dollar bill and replaced it with a coin. By the way, the $19 million saving was over ten years.

The coin was designed with the Queen’s head on one side and a distinctive Canadian bird – the Loon – on the other. In no time, the coin was dubbed, “The Loonie”.

coins

Canada has always used a $2 bill, now the smallest paper money, after the introduction of the Loonie. Using universal socialist philosophy, “You people are far too feeble to think for yourselves, so we’ll think for you”, the Mint soon after decided to do away with the $2 bill, being as doing away with the $1 bill had been so unpopular.

The $2 coin always reminded me of a cross between Mexican money and a token issued by the Niagara Falls Bridge Commission to cross at the Lewiston-Queenston, Whirlpool or Peace bridges. Canadians quickly dubbed the new coin, “The Two-nie”.

A knapsack

In the US, it’s a backpack or bookbag, and a ‘rucksack’ across the pond—but in Canada, it’s usually called a knapsack, taken from the German knappsack or Dutch knapzak, which literally means “snack bag.”

The Beer Store

In Ontario, neither beer nor wine is available in grocery stores, corner stores, party stores or convenience marts. Beer is sold through a single chain, nowadays called, “The Beer Store”.
beerstore

The company began in 1927, with the end of prohibition in Ontario. Although prohibition had proven to be unsuccessful, the provincial government still needed to placate angry temperance advocates and agreed that beer would be sold through a single network of stores. However, the government did not want to operate this network itself (as was done in some other Canadian provinces), and so permitted brewers to organize the Brewers Warehousing Company Ltd., which later became Brewers Retail/The Beer Store.

A two-four

A case of beer consisting of 24 bottles. Usually enough for one or two Canadians. “Case of beer” is seldom used. It’s a “two-four”.

Double-double

A Canadian term used to describe how you take your coffee – two teaspoons of sugar and two creams. Preferably used in any Tim Horton’s (donut shop chain) location.

Timbits

Again a reference to Tim Horton’s Donut chain, “Timbits” are the dough from the center of the donut – “donut holes”. Some say that a typical Canadian diet consists of beer, bacon and Timbits.

Back Bacon

Peameal or back bacon refers to brined slices of pork loin coated in cornmeal—which resembles a thin pork chop more than traditional bacon. Back bacon shouldn’t be confused with “Canadian bacon” in the US, though—this term usually refers to a thin slice of smoked ham, rather than anything called bacon in Canada.

Clicks (or klicks)

Canada is a metric country. You drive at 100 kilometers per hour on the highway and gas mileage is figured in liters used per 100 kilometers driven, which is as clear as the rear end on a goat, right? “Clicks” is a short form for ‘kilometer’, a term that came out of the Viet Nam war.

Serviette

A paper napkin.

Washroom

Restroom, lavatory.

Mickey

A 12-oz (now 375ml) bottle of alcohol. Roughly equivalent to the bottle size referred to as a “Pint” in the US.

Caesar

A Caesar or Bloody Caesar is a cocktail created and primarily consumed in Canada. clamatoIt typically contains vodka, Clamato (a proprietary blend of tomato juice and clam broth), hot sauce and Worcestershire sauce, and is served with ice in a large, celery-salt-rimmed glass, typically garnished with a stalk of celery and wedge of lime. It was invented in Calgary, Alberta in 1969 by restaurateur Walter Chell to celebrate the opening of a new Italian restaurant in the city. It quickly became a popular mixed drink within Canada where over 350 million Caesars are consumed annually and it has inspired numerous variants. However, the drink remains virtually unknown outside the country.

Chesterfield

A sofa or couch.

Eh?

The usage of eh? according to the Canadian Oxford Dictionary, is for “ascertaining the comprehension, continued interest, agreement, etc., of the person or persons addressed” as in, “It’s four kilometers away, eh, so I have to go by bike.” In that case, eh? is used to confirm the attention of the listener and to invite a supportive noise. “Eh” can also be added to the end of a declarative sentence to turn it into a question. For example: “The weather is nice.” becomes “The weather is nice, eh?”

The band, “Canadian Brass”, referring to their arrangement of the jazz standard “Take the A Train”, said that they’d considered calling it “Take the train, eh?”. A classic joke illuminating this: “How did they name Canada? The letters were thrown in a bag, and the first one to be picked was ‘C’ eh?, then ‘N’ eh? and finally ‘D’ eh?”

Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas as Bob and Doug McKenzie

In case you’ve now forgotten, here’s the paragraph again…

“I’m going to collect the loonies and toonies out of my knapsack and head to the Beer Store for a two-four. On my way back, I’ll pick us up a double-double and some Timbits, then we can have that back bacon for breakfast. If you spill your Tim’s because I’m driving 20 clicks over the speed limit, I’ll give you a serviette to use in the washroom. And don’t worry—I’ve got a mickey of vodka to put in our Caesars. Save me a seat on the chesterfield, eh?”

Make sense now??

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Comments

  1. elayne  January 26, 2014

    Gordon, perhaps it would be prudent to stop comparing and accept that our cost of living in most aspects is higher and client service is not a priority in a lot of places where it should be.. If you can’t do this my friend, you will end up with an ulcer. This is precisely the reason we enjoy visiting the USA. Compared to home, we are treated like royalty in store, hotels, restaurants etc. . Hang in there kiddo.

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