Only in Canada, eh?
Yah, eh? Okay. So, like the other day I had a typical Canadian Day. Oh yah… like, only Canadians will understand this, eh? Like, hope flea they’ll see the humor – sew-ree… the humoUr in it. If yer from another country, like The States, youse won’t get it.
My typical Canadian Morning…
I went to the cash machine (ATM) to get some Peek-a-Boo money.
“Peek-a-boo” because you can see through it. The bills are made of polymer – plastic. What appears to be a white area in the above pictures, is really clear film… you can see through it. “Peek-a-boo” as well because prices are so high up here – plus HST (13% point-of-sale tax) – the bills play peek-a-boo with your billfold. Money is in and out of your wallet so fast it’s a wonder the Queen doesn’t get whiplash.
Then I went to a pharmacy to get affordable eggs. Hardly a world-wide concept. Yes, in the US, one can buy eggs at a Walgreen’s or CVS, but much like getting them at Mac’s Milk up here, you pay through the nose for the convenience. If large eggs at Kroger (supermarket) cost over $1.63 a dozen in the South, I buy medium. Here, at the pharmacy on special, they’re $1.99. Regular price at Food Thrills is $2.64. Both stores charge 5¢ for a grocery bag.
Many pharmacies have a Canada Post Outlet Store. I won’t bother repeating my story about how, in Canada, it costs $1.35 to mail a 30¢ postcard to the US, but perhaps someone might essplain me this. Canada Post is losing a fortune. Purolater (Canada’s FedEx) is making money. So the company in the red buys the company in the black. Yes, the government’s deep pockets used a cash-bleeding institution (Canada Post) to buy a financially successful Canadian courier company, presumably to be run in the same usual and efficient (pronounced usual inefficient) manner. What did the tea company say?…”only in Canada, eh”.
I used to be a conservative. Now, I’m a Libertarian. The government needs to be limited to immigration, the military, fire and police.
I went to Canadian Tiyer. I needed new windshield wiper blades to clear all the slush from the salted roads that is your constant companion when driving while it’s snowing. The cheapest wipers were their own brand… “only” $15 ea. At the cash register, 2 x $15 = $33.90, including the 13% HST.
Then they gave me a handful of strange currency – bills – in denominations considerably smaller than the $1 and the $2 bill that thirty years ago the Federal Government said they could no longer afford to print, thus the $1 coin and the $2 coin.
More proof that the Government belongs in nothing save immigration, the military, police and fire. Sell everything else, specifically the Canadian Mint to Canadian Tar.
I filled up my winnder-warsh anti-freeze reservoir after the morning’s excursion to Canada. It took pert near the whole gallon. Which isn’t really a gallon – well, it IS – but it’s called 3.78 liters. (BTW – how many eggs in a metric dozen?)
My windshield wipers were sized at twenty-two INCHES. Despite Canadian patriotism and its desire to be differentiated from the US, the country cannot go totally metric, as its largest customer – the US – will never go metric.
Besides, there are thousands of Canadians exceedingly thankful for Buffalo, New York. Were it not for the Buffalo Sabres hockey team, the Toronto Maple Leafs would be in last place.
‘Foot In Cold Water’ was a Toronto band in the 1970’s formed out of Nucleus and the Lords of London. They say that if you can remember the Seventies, then you weren’t really a part of it.
I have vague recollections of this song, “Make Me Do Anything You Want”, a 1973 hit for the band. I have vivid memories of the ‘stubbies’ two of the band members – bottom right and top left – are holding on to.Share