Wherever the Road Leads

Bat Trees and Dollar Gentral

And Coon-ass Education

I use Dollar Gentral brand batteries. Bought some today – twenty-four batteries for $4.25. Can they compare to Energizers? I doubt it, but itten anybody going to be able to convince me that I can’t get more life out of twenty-four batteries for $4.25 that I can four bunny batteries costing perhaps even more.

How many batteries actually get used up, compared to others that just plain die after sitting in the remote control for the DVD player that hasn’t been used since you got Blu-Ray or Netflix? Granted, a camera can chew through batteries quickly, but even that is in spurts. Buy Energizers for your two week vacation then the camera sits til next summer. Even Energizers will be dead by then. So that’s why I figure you can’t go wrong with Dollar Gentral batteries.

I went there to the Dollar Gentral today after church – on Mother’s Day. It was busy; people buying last-minute cards and flares on the way over to momanem’s. I reckon I’m of two minds here, if I was a mother. On one hand, a little pre-planning might have been in order so that your Mother’s Day tokens-of-appreciation might have come from a more high-end source, like Wal-Mart. However, I guess I’d rather get a card and a carnation from the Dollar Gentral than nothing at all.

I was surprised at the store. I don’t visit it all that often but I was low on batteries and I needed insect repellant so that I can finally do what I came to this area to do – visit the Okefenokee Swamp. The Kellys were talking about it the other night at dinner when I told them I was going. “Make sure you get you some bug spray, ” they said, “cause ’em mosquitoes’ll carry you off. They’s so big they land on the trees and bark.”

I remember the store being a hodge-podge of everything strode all over. But this Dollar Gentral was neat and organized, had fresh dairy products and what else it didn’t have, you didn’t need.

Now, yes, this is the same dollar store that is throughout the country with the yeller sign and the black lettering. Y’all are probably mis-pronouncing the name of the store just like I did for years before I had me some Louisiana Learning.

Hannah and Kaylee are two backwater girls from the bayou who can solve virtually every problem, for cheap, by visiting Dollar Gentral. For example, here is a solution to my pending mosquito problem:

These girls have many, many tips posted on Youtube. Here’s a make-up tip on how to get that smokey-eyed look starting, of course, with a trip to Dollar Gentral.

Mother’s Day presents, “for cheap”. Perhaps this is why the local Dollar Gentral was so busy today…

By the way, here’s a translation until you have a chance to watch a few more Hannah and Kaylee videos and learn to talk English real goodly:

“itten”: isn’t
“momanem’s”: your parents’ house… Mom and them
“cards and flares”: cards and flowers
“coon-ass”: a Cajun, someone from Louisiana

Happy Mother’s Day and God Bless the South.

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  1. elayne  May 10, 2015

    Gordon, you are hilarious and your ramblimgs ( thoughts) make my day.. Thank you and keep ’em coming please. thank you

  2. elayne  May 10, 2015

    oops that should be rambings. I never did learn to type . sorry.

  3. elayne  May 10, 2015

    dang, well that didn’t work either – ramblings. I wish there was alcohol involved but not , just old and tired eyes.

  4. elayne  May 11, 2015

    those women are very, very funny .. I love the mosquito ( state bird of Louisiana ) protection idea.. I am surprised they could still talk after inhaling all that Off. lol


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